Tag Archives: Romance

Feeding the Monster

21 Jul

It has been a little over 10 days since my last post. I could say that it is because I took the GRE last week and I was all wrapped up in the preparations. That wouldn’t be a lie-I did and I was. But it isn’t the entire truth. You see, the thing is, I was reading New Moon. And after my scathing rant about Twilight, I was embarrassed to be reading the second in the series. But there I was-every night before bed, reading just a little more. I kept thinking that I wasn’t going to finish this one, because really-it was SO BLAND. I mean, blander than Michael Feldman’s Whad’Ya Know, blander than the most boring tapioca pudding you can imagine. (Although, I rather like tapioca pudding.) Bella actually says that “compared to the fear that he didn’t want me, this hurdle-my soul-seemed almost insignificant,” and, AND, she laments “I don’t trust myself to be…enough. To deserve you. There’s nothing about me that could hold you.” So not only does nothing really happen in the book, but Bella is blatantly saying that relationships are about entrapment, and that her very own soul is not as important as Edward’s attention. And of course she doesn’t deserve him. Hell, she is a girl. Do girls deserve any of the men that deign to look at them? (note well the sarcasm and disgust.)

And yet… I kept reading. This is where my epiphany lies.

Let me back track a bit. Last year, (or was it two years ago?) I would visit a certain website daily for all my movie news. This website would be third on the list of my morning web-rounds, and I would read the silver screen updates. And THEN. Then, I would rant to my husband that night about the utter stupidity of the website’s executive editor. I would marvel at how this guy could run a website about movies, when he SO CLEARLY had a) an aversion to fact-checking, b) no conception of the history of Hollywood cinema- for him, movies did not exist before 1982, and c) the persona of an unrefined, immature, and unprofessional moron. Yes. I HATED THIS WEBSITE. And yet I would visit it every day for about a year, because it fueled my day. A little bit of hate and disgust with my morning coffee was just what I needed to set me out into the world with a smugness that I just couldn’t find anywhere else. Twilight does this for me.  Heather B. Armstrong recently posted something that resonated so strongly with me: “my righteous indignation, it flared up so magnificently that I sat down to read the whole book, just so that I could be angry at it. WHO DOES SHIT LIKE THIS?

I do, Heather. I do.

My husband and I call it my Alex Billington Syndrome. Everything that annoys me is dubbed an A-Bill, or some version thereof. I eventually stopped visiting the site, and I now wonder what fueled my self-righteousness in the period between First Showing.net and the Twilight series. I wonder what I will do when I have finished Stephanie Meyer’s handbooks for co-dependent and abusive relationships. I ask you, people, what will I direct my self-important, superior rants at?

I am sure I will find something. If nothing surfaces, there is always Ann Coulter’s Bookstore.

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